What cognitive dissonance looks like in real life: •Generalized anxiety or discomfort in life without being able to pinpoint a root cause ~this is the most common red flag someone is deep in C.D. Root causes of anxiety or nervousness often surface with a little insight If someone is always feeling jumpy or worried, and cant figure out why, they’re likely suppressing the truth, and may need outside help (ie a trusted friend or counsellor) to help them break past their own mental barriers Problem is, much like narcissism, insights are scary for them •Feeling conflicted over a specific subject or issue ~ most people are able to have an opinion without it causing inner conflict People in C.D. become overwhelmed with said subject because it threatens their mental illusions •Behaving in a hypocritical manner ~ with C.D. people often have rules that are just for their own special circumstance or relationship They have done what’s called “mental gymnastics” to justify something, and those special rules and regulations only apply to their own C.D. So in other words, its okay for them because “this is a unique situation” but its not okay for you because of (insert confusing excuse) •And last, being aware of conflicting ideas and excuses, but not knowing what to do with them or how to handle a situation fairly ~ when someone with C.D. is confronted with logic or truth, they go into mental shock; shutting down, dissociating, avoiding the subject, or becoming angry and defensive They’re too emotionally fragile to have healthy conversations based on reality, as this threatens the false reality they’ve created in their heads
You may have noticed a similarity of Cognitive Dissonance and Narcissism Both are based on a falsehood Narcissists have a “false self” Whereas someone with Cognitive Dissonance has a “false reality” Both are reluctant to release their falsehoods, but unlike Narcissists, those with C.D. can “break out” when the people around them stop passively going along with the false beliefs and instead reflect reality
“Chakra” is Sanskrit (ancient Indo-European language) for “wheel/disk” When we hear the term Chakra in spirituality or healing, we are referring to the energy centers that create and contribute to our total vibration. Much like our meridians are akin to veins, carrying energy throughout the body, our Chakras are akin to energetic organs. Each Chakra has its own job to do, just as each of our organs has a purpose. These vortices of energy become weakened or blocked by trapped emotions aka Karma. When we remove trapped emotions (energetic distortions) the Chakra can return to its intended harmonious vibration. The Kundalini energy sits quietly at the bottom Chakra (Root chakra) until its able to ascend. Each Chakra must be relatively healthy (of high vibration) for the Kundalini energy to be able to pass through. Kundalini energy is intelligent and of high vibration. It wont spontaneously rise until you’re ready, lest there be some major imbalances. People can and unfortunately do wake this “serpent” through superficial techniques, and this leads to a mental condition I call “Kundalini Koo-Koo” Its like someone who suddenly won the lottery and doesn’t know how to handle all this money, so they end up going mad or inadvertently killing themselves. We do not need to force the Kundalini Rising, it will do so naturally when your energy is harmonious and high. The ascent of the Kundalini Serpent reminds me very much of Maslows’ hierarchy of needs. On the bottom is our most basic needs; food and safety ect, By the top; Enlightenment. While enlightenment is fancy, it’s useless without food. A strong foundation is first needed. This is a troubling time in human history, as too many of us aren’t even able to achieve the most basic Root Chakra needs: a stable home, income and security. It’s difficult to manifest, attract, or even be clear of our desires when there is an energetic interference in the corresponding Chakra. And as its Karma, we will be attracted to situations that trigger these trapped emotions in an attempt to learn or resolve the lesson. If you have a reoccurring issue, feel cursed or unable to change a dynamic in your life, chances are there’s a trapped emotion in one of your Chakras. Trapped emotions are also the cause of many health issues. For example, people who have issues with their reproductive organs often have an imbalanced Sacral Chakra. Clearing the energetic body of past Karma is a necessary step in awakening and manifesting. We are natural creators and would naturally be manifesting our desires if it weren’t for the generational Karma that resides with the majority of the collective at this time. Resolving Karma and strengthening our Chakras is desperately needed for the collective to ascend. There is an etheric cord at the bottom of our root chakra that is connected Gaia, this is our connection to Mother Earth. Another etheric cord is connected from our Crown Chakra to Spirit, this is of coarse our connection to God. The Heart Chakra is the center of our being. It connects the physical to the etheric and is essentially, the manifestation of Spirit in a Body. Each Chakra will give indication of Balanced VS Karmic traits
Root Chakra This is our energy center of physicality. It determines our survival on Gaia. It is physical connection, sex, how well nourished the physical body is, our tribal support and ability to provide shelter. The Kundalini energy sits at the base of this Chakra Balanced: Feeling grounded Supportive family/tribe Ability to provide for ones self Choosing healthy foods Taking pride in ones home Karmic: Poverty or financial struggles Toxic diet Inability to walk away from toxic people or connections
Sacral Chakra This is the energy center of creation. Everything we create use’s Sacral energy, including art, music, schedules, beautiful meals, goals and plans, and babies. A lot of Sacral energy is needed to create life, which is why we find the sacral chakra within the womb space Balanced: Passionate (which is not love but feels similar and is still amazing;) Creative Sensual Karmic: No zest for life Inability to complete a pregnancy Lack of creative expression Cannot create solutions to problems Holding yourself back, insecure in your plans Lack of spontaneity
Solar Chakra This is the energy center of Identity. Our identity changes throughout life. We are meant to evolve and be ever growing. This is why we incarnate into varied situations, to grow through different experiences. As children, our identity is often that of a dependent, a student ect. It changes throughout life and should continue to do so always. While in your 20s you may have identified as a Mother and housewife, at 40 you may identify as a career woman or animal rescuer. This is where many people become stuck in life, as the refuse to evolve their identity once they reach a level of comfort. Balanced: Confident Happy in career/purpose (including homemakers, students and retirees) Self-secure in how others see them (because they are happy with them self) and not worried about who doesn’t Ability to forge new experiences Karmic: People pleasing or Narcissism Feeling stuck ie; in a home/tribe situation, a job, in self improvement goals Low self-worth Unsure of your purpose or path Daydreaming of a more amazing You, but fearing its beyond reach
Heart Chakra The Centre of our Being. The electro-magnetic frequencies your heart emits can be felt by those around you, and of coarse detected using electronic tools. These vibrations effect the vibes of the whole room, collectively. The Heart Chakra governs Growth and Love. We create Heartwalls when life becomes too painful, in attempt to protect our Heart. Balanced: Healthy relationships Consistent spiritual evolution Ability to empathize (feel) the energy around us Healthy self-love Karmic: Shut off to emotions, positive and negative Feeling like an outsider Feeling unworthy of Love Inability to care (saying things like “I don’t give an F” or “not my problem” All problems are your problem, this is a collective consciousness)
Throat chakra Our Throat Chakra is the energy center of expression, whether verbally or through body language. Balanced: Ability to speak our truth Ability to express love and hurt Ability to speak up for others Karmic: Feeling scared to stand up for yourself Speaking too fast, with pressure or fear, or resorting to yelling or pleading Feeling unheard Crying when trying to express Closed off body language (arms folded, not making eye contact ect)
Brow Chakra This is essentially, our energetic brain. It is our 6th sense (Clairvoyance) It senses energy. Our Brow Chakras have been dulled or blocked during the last 2000+ years and are now in the process of awakening. This is happening collectively but individually as each persons regained abilities encourages the awakening of others Balanced: Inner knowing and insight Understanding motives on a deeper level Predicting outcomes (very different than channeled messages or visions) Sensing truths and feeling the collective energies Seeing control-dramas or ego-centered interactions for what they really are Karmic: Easily manipulated or fooled Feeling unsure in many areas of life (“I just don’t know what to do” “ I don’t know why this is happening”) Feeling like you are lost or that life is unpredictable Unable to feel your way through a situation or choice
Crown This is our connection to God/Spirit/Source Energy. We block ourselves from Gods Love and Healing, but we can always reconnect simply by choosing too. God doesn’t close off to us, we choose to close off at some point in the currant lifetime, whether it be our parents/societal conditioning or through painful life experiences. (which is not Gods fault but we sometimes feel forsaken due to human choices and consequences) Balanced: Feeling Gods Love Feeling heard when we pray Channeling (we all can in different ways if we want to, but is not necessary, especially if its not your purpose to give messages) Feeling into the Collective Consciousness Karmic: Rejecting God and your spiritual nature Feeling abandoned Feeling alone Resistance in praying to a force greater than yourself, having little faith
When our Chakras are all relatively healthy, the Kundalini is able to rise and complete enlightenment
If you want help truly clearing your Chakras book a session. With Gods presence, we will clear the energetic body and teach you how to maintain your spiritual health going forward
Boundaries are present in every healthy relationship I’ve come across. They are the foundation of understanding and compassion between two people, and a sign that the couple can communicate with emotional intelligence. They safeguard important relationships and ensure things proceed in a healthy way.
In my office and personal life, I am noticing how weak or undefined boundaries are an emerging issue for the collective at this time. I believe that this is the next step in our collective evolution, what the Universe wants us all to work on next. Weak boundaries are the core of every exploitative or abusive relationship.
The #1 obstacle I’ve encountered when encouraging someone to set a boundary, is their subconscious fear to do so. They may claim they are not afraid, but after breaking it down, ya, they are. At the core of it all is a fear. Lets just drop the act and admit were all human, and all humans get nervous setting a boundary. Its okay lol. If your not setting boundaries in your relationships, it is because of fear.
Now lets address these universal fears, because shining a light on them makes them much less scary.
*You are hurt and don’t want to admit it. Listen, we all get our feelings hurt by having our boundaries crossed. Don’t play the game that you don’t care. You do, and admitting that is imperative when setting a boundary. Strong people admit they are hurt, weak people pretend they are above emotions.
*You are afraid your concerns wont be “heard” Being misunderstood or dismissed by someone you care about is, whether you want to admit it or not, soul-crushing. It is for me, it is for you, it is for your 235lbs Biker uncle. Truth is, at first your person may be defensive. But that’s part of the work in setting a boundary, getting through the initial reactions, getting past their defences and getting to a place of understanding. Ill show how to do this later in this article.
*You know your Boundary wont be respected. In fact, they may even end the relationship if you speak up. Well then, hate to break it to ya but you are in a toxic relationship. Toxic people don’t respect boundaries because they don’t want their entitlements to be acknowledged. They are used to you putting up with their bullshit, and this dynamic is rarely healed. Toxic people don’t want to grow, learn or love. They want to control or benefit from you. If they cant, they try to punish you instead. It is still important for you to set boundaries with these people for 2 reasons:
1) it will open your eyes to what you’ve been denying all along (ie this person doesn’t actually care about you, this person is dysfunctional, ect)
& 2) It will help you to regain your self respect, regardless of if they respect you. Setting a boundary brings inner peace, and gets all those trapped emotions out of you.
So, as usual, I’ll use some real-world examples of boundaries, and the breakdown of setting them with a friend, family member, romantic partner, and finally a toxic person.
I have a friend, we’ll call him J. J is a wonderful person, and treats me well in our friendship. However, over the last year Ive been feeling bothered that J only visits me when its convenient for him. Now our relations are strained because I haven’t expressed this to him. I may lie to myself and say “well I don’t want to hurt his feelings”, but in reality, I’m worried he will think I’m high maintenance or end the friendship. So I refused to speak directly about it. I tried hinting, but does hinting ever really work? Now our friendship is on the rocks. He’s confused why I can never see him, and is probably feeling rejected. Finally, I decide its time to speak up. I text him a whole-ass block, kindly explaining I miss him but I’m a mom, I work, I have a full schedule, and that I cannot drop what I’m doing whenever he unexpectedly pops up. I just clearly told him what my problem is, and set a boundary “In the future, if you want to hang out, we will need to decideon a time together. I will no longer be available otherwise”
Whew!!! Yea, it was hard, but I felt sooo much better afterwards. Saying it out loud made me realize I wasn’t asking for much. And you know what? He responded (a day later, probably had to think about it first) and actually thanked me for letting him know. Verbatim: “Thats fair. I understand what your saying and I respect your needs. Thank you for letting me know” No shit, this is how people who actually care about you respond.
My Dad,… well lets just say I resent even calling him that. Lets call him Dave. Dave broke my trust repeatedly growing up. I could never understand why I felt anxious around him. Now as an adult, I realize its because I am not emotionally safe with him. Dave was not around much, didn’t fulfill even the most basic of “dad duties” I couldn’t admit to myself until age 36 that this was very hurtful to me. The pain was buried so deep it was hard to acknowledge. And it was backed up by decades of unresolved hurt feelings in our relationship. I tried to set a boundary with him before to not bring his girlfriend (long story) to my home anymore. He said okay but only did this once. He knows its hard for me to set boundaries and that I’d relent to his preference. One day he said he’d come down for my birthday (bringing his girlfriend of coarse) after not seeing him for over a year. I was naively looking forward to it. The day before he cancelled because his girlfriend forgot they had other plans:/ I had to realize he would never respect my needs (such as to be treated with respect and dignity) and drew a new boundary: No Contact. That’s right, I don’t need people like that in my life. It had been 36 years of hurt with this man, and going No Contact had a favourable impact on my mental health. Just setting a boundary helped me to regain the self-love I had lost in this relationship, and to this day, I am so glad I was brave and just did it.
I have friend we’ll call A. She has a girlfriend we’ll call B. A and Bs relationship can be tricky sometimes, as its a same-sex romance. There is a need for boundaries if this is going to work. B has a female friend she is emotionally enmeshed with. Problem here is, she refuses to admit it. It is causes hurt in A, as being emotionally enmeshed with anyone other than your partner is inappropriate when your in a relationship. B will write things like “Your my favourite” and leave emoji hearts on her friend social media. This is of coarse, making A uncomfortable. Now in CIS relationships, its okay to say this to your same-gendered bestie. But every relationship is different, so every relationship has its own unique boundaries. A calmly told B how she felt, using examples and asking her to have empathy (ie “how would you feel if I did this?) B admitted, it would hurt her if the shoe were on the other foot, but said she cant stop appeasing her friend or her friend will get mad. Well, A told B that’s her problem (and it is, now B needs to set her own boundaries with her friend, which is ultimately her job anyways) and stayed strong in her own boundary, which was simply “I cannot be in a relationship with someone who is emotionally enmeshed with someone else. Its not fair to me, its not conducive to a healthy partnership” And so they agreed together this kind of behaviour was not acceptable in their relationship. Boom, boundary set. I bring this example up to highlight the fact that in many cases when setting a boundary, the other person is going to face consequences. That is not your problem. We all have to take responsibility for the relationships we choose to have, and if they have appendages that make sticking to a boundary hard for them, thats their problem. If B agreed this wasn’t healthy, doesn’t want it to happen to her in return either, saying its hard to fix is no excuse, and not As problem. Let people sort out their own appendages. If your husbands’ mother stops by uninvited and you create a boundary with hubby stating “no unexpected visits from family to our home” and he gets nervous because he doesn’t want to set a boundary with his mom, thats his problem. Not yours, period. Can you give suggestions or insight if he asks for it? For sure! We are Empaths, we are emotionally intelligent, we love to help. We do NOT do the work for them.
Lets do another romantic example, because attachment relationships are so varied. This time I’ll use my own. I started dating a man who, in my opinion, is still emotionally enmeshed with his co-parent. He says they’re just friends, I thinks he doesn’t know what emotionally enmeshed means. Either way. He talks about her a lot. Like, every time we hang out. In the past, I never felt yucky feelings when the man I was dating was friends with or mentioned the ex, but this time was different. And that is my point here, while I may not have had to set a boundary like this in my previous relationships, this was a different scenario. His life seemed to revolve around her, her house, her family. Sure they were “co-parents” & “friends” but this way way over the line. He talked about her on our first date, and every one since. So I stressed about it until I made myself sick. No joke, its not easy to tell someone how you feel at the beginning of a connection, but it is important if you don’t want to keep getting hurt. I eventually got up the nerve and asked him if we could talk. And the next day we did. Remember, it matters NOT if you setting a boundary causes the other person to have to confront their imbalances. In fact, that’s sometimes the point; somethings wrong in your neighbourhood and Id rather not be a part of it. So I let him know that his constant mentioning of his ex was making me weary and hurt, why I thought it was inappropriate, and asked him not to mention her anymore around me as I’ve had my fill thankyouverymuch. I know this will cause a shitty chain-reaction (for him) because now he’ll have to put up boundaries with her (ex. she often bugs him to ask me stuff that’s not her business, like where I work ect) Not My Problem. And that may have stressful consequences such as her withholding access to their child. Not My Problem. He’ll eventually have to admit they are in fact enmeshed as he cant even have a conversation without mentioning her because their lives are so intertwined. Not My Problem. Other peoples inability to properly manage their relationships is Not My Problem. Ill support and give suggestions if asked. But I wont sacrifice my own health and sanity to appease someone else’s dysfunction.
How to have a conversation with a toxic person about boundaries? Um, don’t bother. Okay, try at first, but once you realize they don’t respect boundaries, maybe re-evaluate why you have someone like this in your life. In fact, having a conversation about your needs is one of the easiest ways we can tell someone is dysfunctional and toxic. You see, shitty people aren’t always shitty. My fav dog was usually so awesome. Usually loving, usually protective of my kids, usually fun. But at dinner time, she refused to stop guarding the food bowls. She guarded toys too, but anyways. We often had to be extra vigilant or she would bite the other dogs. One day, while we weren’t looking, she attacked our elderly dog who had found a morsel of floor food, and then my son who was trying to protect the ol’girl. This wasn’t the first time she got aggressive. The vets labeled her “highly aggressive” after taking a history. This came to a surprise to my brother, who said “No shes not! She usually so sweet!” and that’s the point I’m trying to make here, toxic people are hard to spot for the beginner Empath, because they’re not toxic 24/7. They get toxic at key times, like when you try to put up a boundary or they dont get what they want. So go ahead and try to implement boundaries with toxic people, it’ll be a good way to see where you stand with them, and if they’re capable of empathy. Just don’t make excuses for them when the writing on the wall becomes the reality in the room.
Setting boundaries is an act of kindness and self love. They say to the universe “Hey! I love myself and I respect myself!” which of coarse, is then reflected back to us. Relationships have such a huge impact on the entirety of our lives. At Reiki and Alternative Healing, we believe in seeing things holistically, and healthy relationships are a big part or a holistically healthy life. There is not enough Reiki that can undue the emotional damage done by having your boundaries repeatedly crossed. It is your emotional/energetic body to manage, and a big part of that is having boundaries. So get out there and express yourself! If you need help or support with this, give me a call and lets work this out together
The thing about headaches after age 35 is, you probably already know why you’re getting them. A surprising amount of mature adults come in with chronic headaches or migraines. And while I love to pull out the magic, this one almost always comes down to your bad habit. You know the one. Doesn’t matter specifically what it is either. Lets say you drink cola every day, have been for years. After a while your body becomes intolerant (not allergic) to the toxins in the soda. After years of processing said toxin, it begins creating an inflammation response to it which results in… you guessed it, a headache. You’ve had enough cola for one lifetime and by your 30’s, your (very intelligent) body then reacts sensitively as soon as it identifies it in the system, creating inflammation. Replace cola with anything: alcohol, processed foods, cigarettes, cannabis, ect. The end result is the same So when I’m asking about your daily habits, what I’m trying to figure out is “what have you been doing for so long that you’re now intolerant of?” Oddly to me, some have a hard time wrapping their denial-prone minds around this.
“Well I’ve always drank beers in the evening” Exactly “Well this just started a few years ago” Yea, its not an allergy, its an intolerance “Other people smoke weed and they don’t get headaches” Well you’re not them, and you are becoming intolerant of it from years of over use Luckily, its also one of the easiest “incurable according to allopathic medicine” dis-eases to actually heal. Just stop doing that thing you know you’ve been doing too much of for too long, and maybe even go on a clean diet for a month to calm the inflammation in the body. Done. And while some may have more complicated underlying issues to heal (which Body Code and other alternative modalities can address), I find this is the “cure” 9/10 times. Alternative healing is awesome because it’s typically painless and makes you HEALTHIER Its also the kind of medicine where the client sometimes has to make changes. Truth is, this is why so many Doctors of allopathic medicine rather prefer to just push a pill. They aren’t in the business of being life coaches, and they know too many of their patients will not submit to a healthy lifestyle. So a band-aid of a pill it is. Listen, we are intelligent intuitive insightful beings. Our bodies are always communicating with us. We know what we should be doing to keep ourselves healthy. Most would rather just make excuses for their lack of effort and involvement, choosing to play dumb then blame big pharma. Lets put health back into our own hands. If you get frequent headaches don’t get mad at the Doctor because he cant figure out why, just listen to and heal your own body.
If you’re having a hard time with self-care and understanding/conquering your habits, reach out to an accredited healer and begin the journey Because Health is Wealth
Oh great, another article on Narcissism:/ Well, its time we put into words something that we are all noticing: A lot of self-proclaimed healers are quite narcissistic.
And if your anything like me, its starting to get less “eye roll” and more “K, that’s dangerous”
There are a few reasons for the flush of narcs in the healing & social media sphere. The biggest being they are great at facades (their entire personality is a fraud, so its perfect for them) and manipulating people when they are vulnerable. With the front of being a “healer”, you will get the impression that they have put more time into creating an image than studying, and it becomes apparent when asked to provide any type of substance.
I could draw this post out, being polite and explaining things “nicely” But instead, lets get to the point.
In the words of Alan Watts; “I have never met a Sage who wanted praise. Enlightened people do not care for compliments, they care for humanity” Narcissism is nothing new in spirituality (or religion) Toxic people have always been drawn to the energetic supply they get from feeling Godly & above others. I mean just look at the social media pages of some of these so-called healers. They call themselves Goddesses and Gifted, continually ASK their clients for written compliments they can then proudly display to the public, little concern for privacy or tact. Really consider this: have you ever seen a legit healer, be it a nurse, therapist, PSW, ect, beg for likes? Has a counsellor ever asked you to forgo privacy and leave a constructed review? This is because as healers, we are not supposed to burden our clients or expect them to publicly expose their need for healing. It puts the client in a position where they feel they have to help the healer in return, which is highly unethical. Of coarse most people will, even though they don’t really want to. They see their role of healer as a business opportunity or attention supply, rather than a calling. If they really believed in Universal Law they would remember that people in need will come to them at the right time. A narcissistic healer will instead try to manipulate or convince people.
Another red flag a Healer is in it for the wrong reasons is their constant reminders of how empathetic/unique/good they are. It comes off awkward and forced … because it is. They promote themselves non-stop. My Dad used to say “Honest people don’t need to tell you they’re honest. Liars are always telling people they are honest.” It reminds me of a social media influence who has recently been exposed as a Narcissist, Myka Stauffer. She repeatedly talks about what a good mother she is, which clearly ended up as not the case. Yet for years people took her words as truth, not seeing the signs. Everything she did as a “good mom” was really for her own benefit, none of her videos or actions benefited her children, in fact it has probably caused long term trauma. Many of us saw through it, but most people take things at face value. In her videos she says repeatedly “Because I’m so empathetic…” ‘Because I’m so humble…” Everything is centred around her instead of the actual needs of the children. When her kids are literally crying in pain, she talks about how hard it is for her instead of the kids. With narcissists, it always circles back to them. We see this with many Healers in social Media. Its clearly about them, not you.
A Narcissistic healer has superficial emotions. Exaggerated emotions. The smile is forced, the Woo- Woo way they speak is unnatural. They surely don’t speak like that in the comfort of their own home. Even the way they welcome you is over the top. Its just not authentic behaviour, it is preformative emotions. Sooo excited to see you, yet crickets when they’re done gaining your cash and energetic supply. The way they connect with people is superficial. They don’t want friends, they want followers. They want the higher ground in the relationship. They hug you tight and feign interest, but actions reveal they aren’t interested in an authentic connection, professional or otherwise. Rather than seeing the role of Healer as meaning THEY are humbly working for YOU, you start to feel like this is more for their benefit.
And the biggest healer red flag for me is their belief that they are special, all powerful (grandiose thinking) and give no credit to others. They routinely over estimate their own power and give false hope to people who are desperate. Many of them change their names (a clear construct of the false-self) or claim to be from the Pleiades or some other far away place (I wish this would stop. You are human. You come from Earth. Our Spirit is connected to Gaias energy field, your body grown from Gaias soil, your Soul returning to Gaias energy field, your body returning to earth.) and anything else they can do to appear different and special. They keep things secretive to appear mystical. In other words, they cant actually explain what they are doing. They don’t put power in the clients hands, rather they want you to know it was THEM who magically healed and changed you. Its so fucking ridiculous to me, as the core of truly helping someone means reminding them of their power. I was connected with a healer for a brief period of time, as I love to learn from and connect with people in my field. She had a serious health crisis, and half her face became paralyzed. She went to several Doctors (healers) and hospitals, took allopathic medicine and did some therapy. Yet you’d never know it looking at her social media. She somehow turned it all around and used it as an opportunity to tell everyone that she had healed herself. Taking videos of herself everyday, getting better and better. Her naïve followers left comments “what an amazing healer!” “My dad had a stroke, I’m telling him to come see you!” ect. Not once did she give any credit to the Doctors, nurses or therapists that actually healed her. Instead, she encouraged people to book with her even though she had no healthcare education or experience. Dangerous & reckless. Another would routinely bash the medical system (which I get, it needs to evolve) yet her kids were all on anti-depressants and pills. They very well could have been treated via alternative healing methods that she was untrained in, but that would mean admitting she wasn’t omnipotent. So instead she went the “happy perfect family” route and kept her children’s sicknesses a secret. All the while claiming she could heal other peoples kids. What a loving mother. Man, if you don’t have the education and experience to treat peoples health issues via alternative medicine & energy healing, then you are a danger to society fronting as though you can. Energy medicine is magic, but so is nature, birth, ascension, the gift of sight, etc. You still have to know what you’re doing. Do you really believe that Shamans, Medicine Women, Tibetan Healers, just took some 4 hour Reiki coarse and now BOOM they can heal all dis-ease? Of coarse not! They studied and practiced until they felt they could ethically work on others. Remember the 11 Law of Karma: All rewards require patient and persistent toil.
In conclusion, a lot of healers need to get over them self. We should have a high standard of care, and feel accomplished when we do a good job. This does not make us Gods, or better than anyone else who does an amazing job teaching, cooking, parenting ect. It is a craft, like any other. And like any craft, the work shall speak for itself.
(Final note for the seriously naïve: Aside from Narcissists, there are plenty of sexual predators floating around the Spiritual community as well. I’m all for sexual freedom, but the amount women being “tricked” into allowing a predator to view their aura without a shirt on or be touched inappropriately to awaken the Kundalini, or any other variation of this just blows my mind. As a practicing healer, the number of times I’ve been asked to do a session “naturally” (aka naked) or give a tantra massage, you know, for health reasons… makes me laugh! Until I hear one of my colleagues falling for this. Then I worry. C’mon ladies, don’t be foolish, of coarse that’s inappropriate and unnecessary. Use some very basic common sense and be wary of anyone asking you to do such things for such stupid reasons. Sure, claim victim-status, but if you believed you needed to take your top off for aura viewing then you cant also claim Empath-status. You clearly don’t feel or sense much and belong back in the sleeping category if you’re that easily fooled. No disrespect, just admit you are vulnerable and easily manipulated, and go from there.)
Dealing with a narcissist will leave you feeling like the bad guy. People often think they’re too smart to be fooled, however, narcissists are masters at what they do and will easily erode that self-assurance. We’ve all heard the terms, “gas-lighting” “bread-crumbing” “projections” “narcissistic supply” Today we’re discussing real-world examples of narcissism in action
1) Words VS Actions This is to me, the biggest thing to watch out for. Narcissists talk a big game about how amazing they are. But over time, the stats don’t match up. Really, in any of your relationships, this is something to watch out for. Narcissists, however, take it to a whole new level. They boast of how caring they are, yet you feel pretty neglected. They brag about being good parents, yet don’t actually put effort or resources into their kids. They call themselves religious, yet cant even follow basic scriptures. They will say they love their kids, yet had to be forced into helping support them. For a good reason though, I’m sure (eyeroll) They talk like they’re an athlete, yet they play on a beer league. They say dumb shit like “I’m smarter than the Doctor” yet haven’t even been to college. It’s sad to see how many adults will listen to words over actions. Yes, their words are convincing, but over time you may see that they use words as a tool of manipulation, not as an authentic attempt to express themselves.
“Babe, I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it, it was really busy at work. Again. I promise I’ll come help next time.”
2)Boundaries Simply put, they don’t respect them. You ask them not to come by, they come by. You tell them you’re an atheist, they insist you haven’t seen the light. You tell them something scares you, you, they keep doing it anyways. With sex, if you’re uncomfortable with something, it becomes a game to make you do it. When it comes to their kids, they don’t see them as individual souls, rather they own them and expect complete agreement. They will basically wear down your boundaries until they aren’t there, often making it seem like it was your own choice to do so.
“I didn’t want to have kids, but its time I grew up. Besides, she promised it would be great”
3)Money They are weird with money. Lavish with themselves, always broke or bread-crumbing everyone else. Because they are impulsive and lack insight, they make foolish purchases. Narcissistic supply comes into play here. They will buy things to make others envy or admire them, not because its something their hearts desire. They will buy things to entertain themselves, not because they need it. They assume their greatness will bring in more money any day now, so no worries about that climbing credit card bill. A narcissistic parent is easy to spot. They always have money for themselves, for a new toy or third wedding, a vacation or drugs and alcohol. Yet they cant seem to afford the child’s basic necessities. Bread-crumbing is big here, they will give enough to keep you alive, but they’ll also bring it up often.
“I don’t know how you can say I never buy you anything. I buy you food, and remember that time I got you a kick-ass birthday gift three years ago? See? You’re lying, stop saying I never buy you anything”
4)Double Standards They are a walking double standard. It’s justifiable for them, but you my friend are the Devil. His ex is a drug addict for smoking weed, and he’ll let everyone know it. Him? Oh, he just smokes when he has a headache so its okay. A narcissist will accuse you of having anger issues for getting upset over “nothing” (yea, they love to minimize) yet get mad if you even just disagree with them. God help you if you ever treat them the way they treated you. You’re a whore because you had sex. His experiences are somehow righteous and clean. They loathe thieves and cons, yet when they steal it’s okay because they felt owed. My ex’s excuse for not spending adequate time with the kids was because I only wanted a break from them so I could drink and see men. Guess what he was up to on the daily? Yea, but that’s okay for him because hes a righteous God-loving man
“Shes a terrible, horrible, abusive mother. Why haven’t I been around to help her then? Well because, shes a terrible, horrible, abusive mother.”
5)Strange Anger There is always an under-currant of negative energy within narcissists. An empath will feel this and become insecure, worried, have constant low-level anxiety around them, yet not be able to tell why, often blaming themselves. This is the vibration of a narcissist and just being in the same room with them puts you in a subconscious state of awareness. Without realizing, you watch your words, tone and beliefs, so as to not disturb the narcissist. Over time, you will reach 1 of 2 places; a broken but willing participant or 2 awakening to what the fuck is actually happening. If you awaken, you will undoubtedly awaken their anger. They often start off with passive-aggressive anger. Missing birthdays, withholding affection, “losing” your things, doing chores badly, accidentally kicking your dog, underhanded jabs and veiled insults (watch out for this especially, it erodes your self esteem “You do a great job for someone who never graduated high school” “Your a good Dad, despite your mental illnesses”), hurting you but pretending they didn’t mean too, neglecting the relationship or their duties etc. It will, however, become overt and dangerous. Violence is not off the table with these psychos. There is a reason you should never tell a narcissist when you’re leaving them, because the switch can happen before your out the door.
“I never would have thought he’d try to kill his wife for leaving him. He seemed like such a nice guy, doesn’t even have a domestic violence record.”
6)You Feel Frustrated Narcissists are master crazy-makers. Their excuses and explanations will boggle your mind. They cannot see your point of view. Thy cannot learn or comprehend logic. They can be relentless in their pursuit to bring you to the edge, and you wont even realize they’re the ones doing it. They will gas-light till the cows come home, even with irrefutable proof. Their self-assured demeanour will have you questioning everything you know to be true, including your own feelings. They may get angry at you just for disagreeing or refusing to accept their non-sense. Long story short, you’ll find yourself wondering if your crazy. Whatever way it manifests, one thing is for sure, if you try to have a friendship, relationship or family dynamic with them, you will end up frustrated on many levels. Just trying to talk sense with them is like banging your head into a wall. The reason? They lack insight. Like, completely incapable of having any semblance of insight. So they never learn. They’re never wrong. And they’ll never grow. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE SO STOP EXPECTING THEM TO! Narcissists don’t get better. They get old and tired, sure, but that’s the best you can hope for.
“Everyone else seems to understand or empathize my concern, except my husband (the narcissist) For some reason, he just doesn’t get it.”
Being in a relationship with a narcissist, or having one as a parent is incredibly debasing. The energetic wounds go deep. The traits you pick up will need re-programming in most cases, and the karmic energy removed. The number 1 predictor of ending up in a narcissistic relationship? Having been in one before. Not all empaths attract narcissists. Come to Reiki and Alternative Healing to truly heal from the abuse and ascend to higher vibing relationships.
Metaphorically speaking, we have a “Light” side and a “Shadow” side. Your Light side is just you. The part that is in tune with universal flow. It is what loves & serves our self and others, in accordance with Collective Consciousness
Your Shadow side is what is not serving your self or others.
It is toxic programming. Dysfunctional habits. Unbalanced ego. It’s created in many ways. This is not a Yin/Yang type of thing. Darkness is beautiful. Seeds germinate in the dark. We feel between the lines in the dark. This is not what we’re referring to when talking about the Shadow Self. The Shadow Self is what needs to be healed in order for ascension, manifestation, wholeness or peace to be truly felt. We are Light, and this Shadow dims the full measure of our creation.
Often times our Shadow side is hidden from us. It creeps along behind us but when we try to get a glimpse, it somehow jumps out of view. Many on the spiritual path have not yet healed the shadow side. In fact, it is what’s causing so much resistance to ascension. When we ask our fellow Brothers and Sisters, have you healed your Shadow Self? Many will exclaim with a little too much pride “Oh Yes! I have, I am practically a Guru at this point!”
Well, in my experience, when asked about what they healed or how they did it, what often follows are stories of how they heroically overcame some obstacles that life presented them, indulging themselves the chance to turn it into autobiography of their greatness, self gratifying, avoiding any talk of their own toxic traits & programming, mistakes, or their own sins, if you will. These people do not dare to try and glance at their shadow. For those who have done shadow work are aware that it is not about our gifts, or how others have wronged us. It’s about what is needed to heal IN OUR SELF to benefit the collective, the future generations or their own future & incarnations.
As Alan Watts famously said “I have never met a Sage who wanted praise”
He goes on to describe how the Ascended Masters and Sages alike, could not care about compliments and praise, insults, fame, nor being outcasts or popular. They have truly done their Shadow work. He warns, from way in the past, to be weary of so-called shamans and sages who believe they are omnipresent, Gods and Goddesses, above others. If they did their shadow work, they would have been humbled.
Family, Community, a Tribe, Humble Healers who have healed themselves. These things are imperative to a healthy society and self. The biggest reason why? Because it is others that help us see our Shadow self, what needs to actually be healed. They stand behind us and see what we do not.
A good Shaman may tell you what you don’t want to hear first. Funny how that works. I’ve had a few people not ready and that is fine. I am not here to kiss ass or obtain followers. Most, however, are intuitively relieved to find the source of suffering and with the ease of sight, heal the shadow side quickly. For you see, the hard part isn’t fixing the imbalance. Its finding it.
The only difference between a psychological breakdown & a psychological re-birth, Is the end result.
In other words, having a mental, a nervous breakdown, a dark night of the soul, is a call. Whether or not you take the call, is up to you. This is your journey. You will decide how to handle the crisis.
There are many choices during a mental/ life crisis. To resonate as a victim and survive using the typical victim mentality. To use the already broken allopathic mental health system, which seems to cause more problems than it heals. To medicate the self, using drugs (including prescription of coarse) food TV/video games, sex ect. Or to Evolve. Grow and Refine. Ascend.
You get to choose.
No man is an island. Let me help you reach your psychological breakthrough. It’s easier than you think, you just have to open your mind and try something new.
The time for Ascension is here. Will you take the call?
When I first started doing sessions with the public I didn’t take the need to protect myself seriously. I’d forget to put up my energetic shield, and I wasn’t concerned about picking up the emotions, entities or implants from others while doing Reiki. After a few years I started really noticing the effects. I’d test myself and ask “Do I have a trapped emotion causing (new issue)?” and the answer would come up “No” Confused, I’d carry on. eventually I had the idea to ask myself “Have I picked up energies from others?” and the answer came up “Yes” “Did I pick up energies from my clients?” “Yes” “How many?” and landed in the 200’s. I had absorbed some 200 energies from clients, crazy. I did a clearing session on myself and felt great after, confirming the findings.
Since then I’ve started taking steps to minimize this from happening. I always put up an energetic shield before working on others, however as we’re energetically connected during the session, or at least in close proximity, they still find a way sometimes. Much like in a hospital, the healers take precautions to ensure they don’t pick up pathogens, but they still get through sometimes. The same is true with energy work. Despite the efforts to shield and have a sacred space, sometimes the energies or entities still attach to the closest person. So it’s important to also have a clearing ritual after your done healing for the day. It can be whatever speaks to you. For me, I get right home now, no stopping for visits, and get right into the shower. I stand with my crown right under the water, get into a neutral (light meditative) head-space and command/intend/visualize the water clearing my energetic body. I feel it all washing down my body and down the drain, from the top of me down down down the drain. It only takes a minute, but it’s important to do right away. Same idea if your going to smudge them off instead. You must be in a neutral space to effectively command energy, so get into that space. Then smudge but instead have the smoke take it up up away.
Another thing I’ve found over the years is that these new energies usually take a few days to actually absorb into your body. So if you ask “Did I absorb/take someone else’s trapped emotions?” right after the session, it will almost certainly answer “No” But if you ask again a week later, it could change to “Yes” I think it’s because it hasn’t actually become One with you yet. What this means is if you test yourself right after a session because you don’t have time or desire to clear yourself, then you may get a “No” answer when really its just still outside the body but within your field, and it will continue absorbing especially during sleep when our shields are always down. So play it safe and just clear afterwards. It would be gross if a nurse came off shift and didn’t wash up after right? Well this is proper energy hygiene, just clean yourself up after.
I still periodically test to find any absorbed emotions and find one here and there, but its like 1% comparatively, and easy enough to clear then.
I’ll finish with a story. It’s about a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis, and the year was 1846. At this time there was no way to “see” germs, no equipment to “prove” their existence. The medical community was also divided between illness being caused by evil, and the scientific minded pushing for doctors to be formally trained as opposed to just winging it or being “holy” enough to heal. Semmelweis worked in a hospital and was an obstetrician. By trail and error throughout his career he noticed that when delivery staff washed their hands before assisting birth, the mothers and babies died at a much much lower rate from what was called “childbirth fever” So Semmelweis eventually concluded that there were “unseen forces” causing the fever and deaths. He guessed it may have been pieces of corpses or dirt that was being passed around or introduced into the woman during birth. Other physicians at the time would speculate they weren’t worthy of motherhood, or other spiritual aspects were at play. He started washing his hands before delivery and “magically” the death rates plummeted. He was unfortunately met with much resistance. Doctors did not appreciate the new theory, even assuming he was blaming them for the deaths. The theory didn’t take off simply because people could not prove it, and the implications rattled a few egos. Semmelweis was rejected from the medical community and eventually committed to an insane asylum, where he later died. He never lived to see his theory proven and implemented. This medical history lesson teaches us many things. For one, being improvable does not mean incorrect. And two, whether it was seen as a scientific or spiritual issue, either way the proof was in the pudding. This action causes this result, period.
So yea, dont be gross and just wash that energetic grime off after your sessions!
Whenever I feel down in life, stuck in a mood or a spiral, there’s one thing that always without fail pulls me back out Its gratitude. Consciously giving thanks for everything I can throughout the day has me feeling better and attracting good things again very quickly. It seems too simple and we’ve all heard it before, but anyone who’s learned to feel content and appreciative in life will confirm, the gratitude they have in the very core of their being, is why they continue to rise, why they seem to be blessed more frequently. I see people act grateful, while they’re actually thinking negatively, deep inside still dissatisfied with what they have/are. That doesn’t work. Seldom does the questionable new version of gratitude and manifesting, known as “positive thinking” yield either, as this is just subconsciously wanting more & more, coupled with the anxiety of awaiting results. I’m not a fan of this philosophy in spirituality, it’s a self-centered energy and is not in alignment with collective consciousness or universal service. Besides, manifestations reflect your subconscious and frequencies. Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can take effort at first, especially if you’re not used to truly appreciating everything good in your existence. It may take a bit of time to truly shift into the vibration of gratitude. With all lasting changes we need to be persistent and patient (Remember the 11th Law of Karma: All rewards require initial toil. Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.) Try giving thanks for all you can for an entire day and see what happens, notice already the change in your vibration, your subconscious on a new path. I believe we truly do manifest our reality, whether its quantum or subconscious, divine or the natural flow, who cares, we are co-creating our realities with our mind. The lesson of gratitude is as old as any teaching, its higher living 101, and an emotional skill that should be of the first Mastered for an abundant, purposeful and happy life.
(There’s a time for grieving and honouring your feelings, I don’t suggest trying to bypass an emotion, however this is great for the everyday blues, negative expectation implants and general low vibing energy that can spiral us into a dark place🖤)