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Chronic Headaches

The thing about headaches after age 35 is, you probably already know why you’re getting them. A surprising amount of mature adults come in with chronic headaches or migraines. And while I love to pull out the magic, this one almost always comes down to your bad habit. You know the one. Doesn’t matter specifically what it is either.
Lets say you drink cola every day, have been for years. After a while your body becomes intolerant (not allergic) to the toxins in the soda. After years of processing said toxin, it begins creating an inflammation response to it which results in… you guessed it, a headache. You’ve had enough cola for one lifetime and by your 30’s, your (very intelligent) body then reacts sensitively as soon as it identifies it in the system, creating inflammation. Replace cola with anything: alcohol, processed foods, cigarettes, cannabis, ect. The end result is the same So when I’m asking about your daily habits, what I’m trying to figure out is “what have you been doing for so long that you’re now intolerant of?” Oddly to me, some have a hard time wrapping their denial-prone minds around this.    

“Well I’ve always drank beers in the evening”
Exactly
“Well this just started a few years ago”
Yea, its not an allergy, its an intolerance
“Other people smoke weed and they don’t get headaches”
Well you’re not them, and you are becoming intolerant of it from years of over use
Luckily, its also one of the easiest “incurable according to allopathic medicine” dis-eases to actually heal. Just stop doing that thing you know you’ve been doing too much of for too long, and maybe even go on a clean diet for a month to calm the inflammation in the body. Done. And while some may have more complicated underlying issues to heal (which Body Code and other alternative modalities can address), I find this is the “cure” 9/10 times. Alternative healing is awesome because it’s typically painless and makes you HEALTHIER
Its also the kind of medicine where the client sometimes has to make changes. Truth is, this is why so many Doctors of allopathic medicine rather prefer to just push a pill. They aren’t in the business of being life coaches, and they know too many of their patients will not submit to a healthy lifestyle. So a band-aid of a pill it is.
Listen, we are intelligent intuitive insightful beings. Our bodies are always communicating with us. We know what we should be doing to keep ourselves healthy. Most would rather just make excuses for their lack of effort and involvement, choosing to play dumb then blame big pharma. Lets put health back into our own hands. If you get frequent headaches don’t get mad at the Doctor because he cant figure out why, just listen to and heal your own body.

If you’re having a hard time with self-care and understanding/conquering your habits, reach out to an accredited healer and begin the journey Because Health is Wealth

The Narcissistic/Omnipotent Healer

Oh great, another article on Narcissism:/ Well, its time we put into words something that we are all noticing: A lot of self-proclaimed healers are quite narcissistic.

And if your anything like me, its starting to get less “eye roll” and more “K, that’s dangerous”

There are a few reasons for the flush of narcs in the healing & social media sphere. The biggest being they are great at facades (their entire personality is a fraud, so its perfect for them) and manipulating people when they are vulnerable. With the front of being a “healer”, you will get the impression that they have put more time into creating an image than studying, and it becomes apparent when asked to provide any type of substance.

I could draw this post out, being polite and explaining things “nicely” But instead, lets get to the point.

In the words of Alan Watts; “I have never met a Sage who wanted praise. Enlightened people do not care for compliments, they care for humanity” Narcissism is nothing new in spirituality (or religion) Toxic people have always been drawn to the energetic supply they get from feeling Godly & above others. I mean just look at the social media pages of some of these so-called healers. They call themselves Goddesses and Gifted, continually ASK their clients for written compliments they can then proudly display to the public, little concern for privacy or tact. Really consider this: have you ever seen a legit healer, be it a nurse, therapist, PSW, ect, beg for likes? Has a counsellor ever asked you to forgo privacy and leave a constructed review? This is because as healers, we are not supposed to burden our clients or expect them to publicly expose their need for healing. It puts the client in a position where they feel they have to help the healer in return, which is highly unethical. Of coarse most people will, even though they don’t really want to. They see their role of healer as a business opportunity or attention supply, rather than a calling. If they really believed in Universal Law they would remember that people in need will come to them at the right time. A narcissistic healer will instead try to manipulate or convince people.

Another red flag a Healer is in it for the wrong reasons is their constant reminders of how empathetic/unique/good they are. It comes off awkward and forced … because it is. They promote themselves non-stop. My Dad used to say “Honest people don’t need to tell you they’re honest. Liars are always telling people they are honest.” It reminds me of a social media influence who has recently been exposed as a Narcissist, Myka Stauffer. She repeatedly talks about what a good mother she is, which clearly ended up as not the case. Yet for years people took her words as truth, not seeing the signs. Everything she did as a “good mom” was really for her own benefit, none of her videos or actions benefited her children, in fact it has probably caused long term trauma. Many of us saw through it, but most people take things at face value. In her videos she says repeatedly “Because I’m so empathetic…” ‘Because I’m so humble…” Everything is centred around her instead of the actual needs of the children. When her kids are literally crying in pain, she talks about how hard it is for her instead of the kids. With narcissists, it always circles back to them. We see this with many Healers in social Media. Its clearly about them, not you.

A Narcissistic healer has superficial emotions. Exaggerated emotions. The smile is forced, the Woo- Woo way they speak is unnatural. They surely don’t speak like that in the comfort of their own home. Even the way they welcome you is over the top. Its just not authentic behaviour, it is preformative emotions. Sooo excited to see you, yet crickets when they’re done gaining your cash and energetic supply. The way they connect with people is superficial. They don’t want friends, they want followers. They want the higher ground in the relationship. They hug you tight and feign interest, but actions reveal they aren’t interested in an authentic connection, professional or otherwise. Rather than seeing the role of Healer as meaning THEY are humbly working for YOU, you start to feel like this is more for their benefit.

And the biggest healer red flag for me is their belief that they are special, all powerful (grandiose thinking) and give no credit to others. They routinely over estimate their own power and give false hope to people who are desperate. Many of them change their names (a clear construct of the false-self) or claim to be from the Pleiades or some other far away place (I wish this would stop. You are human. You come from Earth. Our Spirit is connected to Gaias energy field, your body grown from Gaias soil, your Soul returning to Gaias energy field, your body returning to earth.) and anything else they can do to appear different and special. They keep things secretive to appear mystical. In other words, they cant actually explain what they are doing. They don’t put power in the clients hands, rather they want you to know it was THEM who magically healed and changed you. Its so fucking ridiculous to me, as the core of truly helping someone means reminding them of their power. I was connected with a healer for a brief period of time, as I love to learn from and connect with people in my field. She had a serious health crisis, and half her face became paralyzed. She went to several Doctors (healers) and hospitals, took allopathic medicine and did some therapy. Yet you’d never know it looking at her social media. She somehow turned it all around and used it as an opportunity to tell everyone that she had healed herself. Taking videos of herself everyday, getting better and better. Her naïve followers left comments “what an amazing healer!” “My dad had a stroke, I’m telling him to come see you!” ect. Not once did she give any credit to the Doctors, nurses or therapists that actually healed her. Instead, she encouraged people to book with her even though she had no healthcare education or experience. Dangerous & reckless. Another would routinely bash the medical system (which I get, it needs to evolve) yet her kids were all on anti-depressants and pills. They very well could have been treated via alternative healing methods that she was untrained in, but that would mean admitting she wasn’t omnipotent. So instead she went the “happy perfect family” route and kept her children’s sicknesses a secret. All the while claiming she could heal other peoples kids. What a loving mother. Man, if you don’t have the education and experience to treat peoples health issues via alternative medicine & energy healing, then you are a danger to society fronting as though you can. Energy medicine is magic, but so is nature, birth, ascension, the gift of sight, etc. You still have to know what you’re doing. Do you really believe that Shamans, Medicine Women, Tibetan Healers, just took some 4 hour Reiki coarse and now BOOM they can heal all dis-ease? Of coarse not! They studied and practiced until they felt they could ethically work on others. Remember the 11 Law of Karma: All rewards require patient and persistent toil.

In conclusion, a lot of healers need to get over them self. We should have a high standard of care, and feel accomplished when we do a good job. This does not make us Gods, or better than anyone else who does an amazing job teaching, cooking, parenting ect. It is a craft, like any other. And like any craft, the work shall speak for itself.

(Final note for the seriously naïve: Aside from Narcissists, there are plenty of sexual predators floating around the Spiritual community as well. I’m all for sexual freedom, but the amount women being “tricked” into allowing a predator to view their aura without a shirt on or be touched inappropriately to awaken the Kundalini, or any other variation of this just blows my mind. As a practicing healer, the number of times I’ve been asked to do a session “naturally” (aka naked) or give a tantra massage, you know, for health reasons… makes me laugh! Until I hear one of my colleagues falling for this. Then I worry. C’mon ladies, don’t be foolish, of coarse that’s inappropriate and unnecessary. Use some very basic common sense and be wary of anyone asking you to do such things for such stupid reasons. Sure, claim victim-status, but if you believed you needed to take your top off for aura viewing then you cant also claim Empath-status. You clearly don’t feel or sense much and belong back in the sleeping category if you’re that easily fooled. No disrespect, just admit you are vulnerable and easily manipulated, and go from there.)

Narcissists IRL

A Practical Guide

Dealing with a narcissist will leave you feeling like the bad guy. People often think they’re too smart to be fooled, however, narcissists are masters at what they do and will easily erode that self-assurance. We’ve all heard the terms, “gas-lighting” “bread-crumbing” “projections” “narcissistic supply” Today we’re discussing real-world examples of narcissism in action

1) Words VS Actions This is to me, the biggest thing to watch out for. Narcissists talk a big game about how amazing they are. But over time, the stats don’t match up. Really, in any of your relationships, this is something to watch out for. Narcissists, however, take it to a whole new level. They boast of how caring they are, yet you feel pretty neglected. They brag about being good parents, yet don’t actually put effort or resources into their kids. They call themselves religious, yet cant even follow basic scriptures. They will say they love their kids, yet had to be forced into helping support them. For a good reason though, I’m sure (eyeroll) They talk like they’re an athlete, yet they play on a beer league. They say dumb shit like “I’m smarter than the Doctor” yet haven’t even been to college. It’s sad to see how many adults will listen to words over actions. Yes, their words are convincing, but over time you may see that they use words as a tool of manipulation, not as an authentic attempt to express themselves.

Babe, I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it, it was really busy at work. Again. I promise I’ll come help next time.”

2)Boundaries Simply put, they don’t respect them. You ask them not to come by, they come by. You tell them you’re an atheist, they insist you haven’t seen the light. You tell them something scares you, you, they keep doing it anyways. With sex, if you’re uncomfortable with something, it becomes a game to make you do it. When it comes to their kids, they don’t see them as individual souls, rather they own them and expect complete agreement. They will basically wear down your boundaries until they aren’t there, often making it seem like it was your own choice to do so.

I didn’t want to have kids, but its time I grew up. Besides, she promised it would be great”

3)Money They are weird with money. Lavish with themselves, always broke or bread-crumbing everyone else. Because they are impulsive and lack insight, they make foolish purchases. Narcissistic supply comes into play here. They will buy things to make others envy or admire them, not because its something their hearts desire. They will buy things to entertain themselves, not because they need it. They assume their greatness will bring in more money any day now, so no worries about that climbing credit card bill. A narcissistic parent is easy to spot. They always have money for themselves, for a new toy or third wedding, a vacation or drugs and alcohol. Yet they cant seem to afford the child’s basic necessities. Bread-crumbing is big here, they will give enough to keep you alive, but they’ll also bring it up often.

I don’t know how you can say I never buy you anything. I buy you food, and remember that time I got you a kick-ass birthday gift three years ago? See? You’re lying, stop saying I never buy you anything”

4)Double Standards They are a walking double standard. It’s justifiable for them, but you my friend are the Devil. His ex is a drug addict for smoking weed, and he’ll let everyone know it. Him? Oh, he just smokes when he has a headache so its okay. A narcissist will accuse you of having anger issues for getting upset over “nothing” (yea, they love to minimize) yet get mad if you even just disagree with them. God help you if you ever treat them the way they treated you. You’re a whore because you had sex. His experiences are somehow righteous and clean. They loathe thieves and cons, yet when they steal it’s okay because they felt owed. My ex’s excuse for not spending adequate time with the kids was because I only wanted a break from them so I could drink and see men. Guess what he was up to on the daily? Yea, but that’s okay for him because hes a righteous God-loving man

Shes a terrible, horrible, abusive mother. Why haven’t I been around to help her then? Well because, shes a terrible, horrible, abusive mother.”

5)Strange Anger There is always an under-currant of negative energy within narcissists. An empath will feel this and become insecure, worried, have constant low-level anxiety around them, yet not be able to tell why, often blaming themselves. This is the vibration of a narcissist and just being in the same room with them puts you in a subconscious state of awareness. Without realizing, you watch your words, tone and beliefs, so as to not disturb the narcissist. Over time, you will reach 1 of 2 places; a broken but willing participant or 2 awakening to what the fuck is actually happening. If you awaken, you will undoubtedly awaken their anger. They often start off with passive-aggressive anger. Missing birthdays, withholding affection, “losing” your things, doing chores badly, accidentally kicking your dog, underhanded jabs and veiled insults (watch out for this especially, it erodes your self esteem “You do a great job for someone who never graduated high school” “Your a good Dad, despite your mental illnesses”), hurting you but pretending they didn’t mean too, neglecting the relationship or their duties etc. It will, however, become overt and dangerous. Violence is not off the table with these psychos. There is a reason you should never tell a narcissist when you’re leaving them, because the switch can happen before your out the door.

I never would have thought he’d try to kill his wife for leaving him. He seemed like such a nice guy, doesn’t even have a domestic violence record.

6)You Feel Frustrated Narcissists are master crazy-makers. Their excuses and explanations will boggle your mind. They cannot see your point of view. Thy cannot learn or comprehend logic. They can be relentless in their pursuit to bring you to the edge, and you wont even realize they’re the ones doing it. They will gas-light till the cows come home, even with irrefutable proof. Their self-assured demeanour will have you questioning everything you know to be true, including your own feelings. They may get angry at you just for disagreeing or refusing to accept their non-sense. Long story short, you’ll find yourself wondering if your crazy. Whatever way it manifests, one thing is for sure, if you try to have a friendship, relationship or family dynamic with them, you will end up frustrated on many levels. Just trying to talk sense with them is like banging your head into a wall. The reason? They lack insight. Like, completely incapable of having any semblance of insight. So they never learn. They’re never wrong. And they’ll never grow. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE SO STOP EXPECTING THEM TO! Narcissists don’t get better. They get old and tired, sure, but that’s the best you can hope for.

Everyone else seems to understand or empathize my concern, except my husband (the narcissist) For some reason, he just doesn’t get it.”

Being in a relationship with a narcissist, or having one as a parent is incredibly debasing. The energetic wounds go deep. The traits you pick up will need re-programming in most cases, and the karmic energy removed. The number 1 predictor of ending up in a narcissistic relationship? Having been in one before. Not all empaths attract narcissists. Come to Reiki and Alternative Healing to truly heal from the abuse and ascend to higher vibing relationships.

What Is Shadow Work?

Metaphorically speaking, we have a “Light” side and a “Shadow” side. Your Light side is just you. The part that is in tune with universal flow. It is what loves & serves our self and others, in accordance with Collective Consciousness

Your Shadow side is what is not serving your self or others.

It is toxic programming. Dysfunctional habits. Unbalanced ego.                                              It’s created in many ways. This is not a Yin/Yang type of thing. Darkness is beautiful. Seeds germinate in the dark. We feel between the lines in the dark. This is not what we’re referring to when talking about the Shadow Self. The Shadow Self is what needs to be healed in order for ascension, manifestation, wholeness or peace to be truly felt. We are Light, and this Shadow dims the full measure of our creation.

Often times our Shadow side is hidden from us. It creeps along behind us but when we try to get a glimpse, it somehow jumps out of view. Many on the spiritual path have not yet healed the shadow side. In fact, it is what’s causing so much resistance to ascension. When we ask our fellow Brothers and Sisters, have you healed your Shadow Self? Many will exclaim with a little too much pride “Oh Yes! I have, I am practically a Guru at this point!”

Well, in my experience, when asked about what they healed or how they did it, what often follows are stories of how they heroically overcame some obstacles that life presented them, indulging themselves the chance to turn it into autobiography of their greatness, self gratifying, avoiding any talk of their own toxic traits & programming, mistakes, or their own sins, if you will. These people do not dare to try and glance at their shadow. For those who have done shadow work are aware that it is not about our gifts, or how others have wronged us. It’s about what is needed to heal IN OUR SELF to benefit the collective, the future generations or their own future  & incarnations.

As Alan Watts famously said “I have never met a Sage who wanted praise”

He goes on to describe how the Ascended Masters and Sages alike, could not care about compliments and praise, insults, fame, nor being outcasts or popular. They have truly done their Shadow work. He warns, from way in the past, to be weary of so-called shamans and sages who believe they are omnipresent, Gods and Goddesses, above others. If they did their shadow work, they would have been humbled.

Family, Community, a Tribe, Humble Healers who have healed themselves. These things are imperative to a healthy society and self. The biggest reason why? Because it is others that help us see our Shadow self, what needs to actually be healed. They stand behind us and see what we do not.

A good Shaman may tell you what you don’t want to hear first. Funny how that works. I’ve had a few people not ready and that is fine. I am not here to kiss ass or obtain followers. Most, however, are intuitively relieved to find the source of suffering and with the ease of sight, heal the shadow side quickly. For you see, the hard part isn’t fixing the imbalance. Its finding it.

Breakdown or Breakthrough? That’s Up To You

The only difference between a psychological breakdown & a psychological re-birth, Is the end result.

In other words, having a mental, a nervous breakdown, a dark night of the soul, is a call.   Whether or not you take the call, is up to you.   This is your journey.  You will decide how to handle the crisis.

There are many choices during a mental/ life crisis.   To resonate as a victim and survive using the typical victim mentality.   To use the already broken allopathic mental health system, which seems to cause more problems than it heals.   To medicate the self, using drugs (including prescription of coarse) food TV/video games, sex ect.                                    Or to Evolve.   Grow and Refine.    Ascend.

You get to choose.

No man is an island.   Let me help you reach your psychological breakthrough.   It’s easier than you think, you just have to open your mind and try something new.

The time for Ascension is here.   Will you take the call?

Protecting and Clearing Yourself After Energy Healing

When I first started doing sessions with the public I didn’t take the need to protect myself seriously.  I’d forget to put up my energetic shield, and I wasn’t concerned about picking up the emotions, entities or implants from others while doing Reiki.  After a few years I started really noticing the effects.   I’d test myself and ask “Do I have a trapped emotion causing (new issue)?”  and the answer would come up “No”   Confused, I’d carry on.  eventually I had the idea to ask myself “Have I picked up energies from others?” and the answer came up “Yes”  “Did I pick up energies from my clients?” “Yes”  “How many?” and landed in the 200’s.   I had absorbed some 200 energies from clients, crazy.   I did a clearing session on myself and felt great after, confirming the findings.

Since then I’ve started taking steps to minimize this from happening.   I always put up an energetic shield before working on others, however as we’re energetically connected during the session, or at least in close proximity, they still find a way sometimes.   Much like in a hospital, the healers take precautions to ensure they don’t pick up pathogens, but they still get through sometimes.   The same is true with energy work.  Despite the efforts to shield and have a sacred space, sometimes the energies or entities still attach to the closest person.  So it’s important to also have a clearing ritual after your done healing for the day.   It can be whatever speaks to you.  For me, I get right home now, no stopping for visits, and get right into the shower.  I stand with my crown right under the water, get into a neutral (light meditative) head-space and command/intend/visualize the water clearing my energetic body.  I feel it all washing down my body and down the drain, from the top of me down down down the drain.  It only takes a minute, but it’s important to do right away.   Same idea if your going to smudge them off instead.  You must be in a neutral space to effectively command energy, so get into that space.  Then smudge but instead have the smoke take it up up away.

Another thing I’ve found over the years is that these new energies usually take a few days to actually absorb into your body.  So if you ask “Did I absorb/take someone else’s trapped emotions?” right after the session, it will almost certainly answer “No”   But if you ask again a week later, it could change to “Yes”   I think it’s because it hasn’t actually become One with you yet.   What this means is if you test yourself right after a session because you don’t have time or desire to clear yourself, then you may get a “No” answer when really its just still outside the body but within your field, and it will continue absorbing especially during sleep when our shields are always down.   So play it safe and just clear afterwards.   It would be gross if a nurse came off shift and didn’t wash up after right?   Well this is proper energy hygiene, just clean yourself up after.

I still periodically test to find any absorbed emotions and find one here and there, but its like 1% comparatively, and easy enough to clear then.

I’ll finish with a story.  It’s about a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis, and the year was 1846.   At this time there was no way to “see” germs, no equipment to “prove” their existence.  The medical community was also divided between illness being caused by evil, and the scientific minded pushing for doctors to be formally trained as opposed to just winging it or being “holy” enough to heal.   Semmelweis worked in a hospital and was an obstetrician. By trail and error throughout his career he noticed that when delivery staff washed their hands before assisting birth, the mothers and babies died at a much much lower rate from what was called “childbirth fever”  So Semmelweis eventually concluded that there were “unseen forces” causing the fever and deaths.  He guessed it may have been pieces of corpses or dirt that was being passed around or introduced into the woman during birth.  Other physicians at the time would speculate they weren’t worthy of motherhood, or other spiritual aspects were at play.  He started washing his hands before delivery and “magically” the death rates plummeted.  He was unfortunately met with much resistance.  Doctors did not appreciate the new theory, even assuming he was blaming them for the deaths.  The theory didn’t take off simply because people could not prove it, and the implications rattled a few egos.  Semmelweis was rejected from the medical community and eventually committed to an insane asylum, where he later died.  He never lived to see his theory proven and implemented.  This medical history lesson teaches us many things.  For one, being improvable does not mean incorrect.  And two, whether it was seen as a scientific or spiritual issue, either way the proof was in the pudding.  This action causes this result, period.

So yea, dont be gross and just wash that energetic grime off after your sessions!

Gratitude Heals

Whenever I feel down in life, stuck in a mood or a spiral, there’s one thing that always without fail pulls me back out    Its gratitude.  Consciously giving thanks for everything I can throughout the day has me feeling better and attracting good things again very quickly.  It seems too simple and we’ve all heard it before, but anyone who’s learned to feel content and appreciative in life will confirm, the gratitude they have in the very core of their being, is why they continue to rise, why they seem to be blessed more frequently.  I see people act grateful, while they’re actually thinking negatively, deep inside still dissatisfied with what they have/are. That doesn’t work.  Seldom does the questionable new version of gratitude and manifesting, known as “positive thinking” yield either, as this is just subconsciously wanting more & more, coupled with the anxiety of awaiting results.  I’m not a fan of this philosophy in spirituality, it’s a self-centered energy and is not in alignment with collective consciousness or universal service.  Besides, manifestations reflect your subconscious and frequencies.  Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can take effort at first, especially if you’re not used to truly appreciating everything good in your existence.  It may take a bit of time to truly shift into the vibration of gratitude.  With all lasting changes we need to be persistent and patient (Remember the 11th Law of Karma: All rewards require initial toil.  Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.)  Try giving thanks for all you can for an entire day and see what happens, notice already the change in your vibration, your subconscious on a new path.  I believe we truly do manifest our reality, whether its quantum or subconscious, divine or the natural flow, who cares, we are co-creating our realities with our mind.  The lesson of gratitude is as old as any teaching, its higher living 101, and an emotional skill that should be of the first Mastered for an abundant, purposeful and happy life.

 

(There’s a time for grieving and honouring your feelings, I don’t suggest trying to bypass an emotion, however this is great for the everyday blues, negative expectation implants and general low vibing energy that can spiral us into a dark place🖤)

Energy Medicine For Whole Body Health

Energy Medicine is the future of healing, both spiritually and physically.  I’m not suggesting that you should see a Reiki Healer for a broken arm, or that we should forgo allpoathic medicine entirely.   But that a seasoned Healer trained in the art of muscle testing and ethical practicing is complimentary to Western Medicine.  Energy Medicine can certainly heal imbalances, and increase our Ki, but more than that, it can identify issues within the physical body, and what it needs to become healthy again.

Our currant medical model looks at symptoms, and then prescribes a treatment (often pharmaceuticals or surgery)    This method doesn’t tell us tells what the core issue is, what the actual imbalance or need is. It just says “Yep, here’s the problem, were not sure why this is happening but here’s a fancy label for ya, and some even harder to pronounce pills to mask the symptoms”   For example, chronic fatigue syndrome.  You go to the Doctors, and explain to them your general symptoms, feeling tired, winded easily, etc.  And then he tells you, based on the symptoms, “Oh, you have chronic fatigue syndrome” and that’s essentially that.  Maybe try some drugs, but never really getting to the bottom of the problem. Now you simply have a pointless diagnosis with a fancy name to tell people.  Muscle testing and intuitively tuning in with the physical body, an experienced healer can determine Why you are having those symptoms in the first place. How exciting is that?  Instead of checking off a list of symptoms and matching you to a prescription, which may or may not bring relief, an Energy Medicine Practitioner focuses more on the causes of symptoms, and asking the body what it needs to correct the imbalance.  We do not diagnose.  We simply give the body a voice to say what it needs.  Perhaps there is a nutritional deficiency.  Perhaps there are trapped emotions within the meridians halting flow. There could be hormonal imbalances causing the fatigue. Often diseases of the same name can have many different origins from person to person.

When a client comes in with, say, migraines, rather than looking at the symptoms and trying different elimination diets and petro-chemical pharmaceuticals, I instead test the body to ask what is actually causing the migraine symptom.  We may find that it’s simply an allergen, and as easily as that the client can now eliminate the source.  Often we find several contributing factors. Perhaps the musculoskeletal system is out of whack.  We can further test why this is, perhaps there is an abundance of emotional energy needing to be released, or they needs a chiropractic adjustment.  Muscle testing gives your subconscious a voice so that we can find the root of the issue.  Still testing for migraine origins, we may also find there is a fungal infection causing inflammation.  We then continue testing to uncover the best supplement for the particular client to kill the infection.  Finally, we may also discover there is a mineral deficiency.   Muscle test some more and find the client is chronically low on magnesium.  This is the difference between seeing your allopathic  MD (which we are blessed to have access to) and complimentary care at Reiki And Alternative Healing.   I always have preventative care on my mind, wanting to heal imbalances before they become an emergency.  And I treat clients individually, finding the root of any dis-ease or imbalance within the bodies, physical and energetic.

“May you never know what you have prevented”  – an old preventative medicine quote

 

Why It Really Does All Go Back To Your Childhood

Have you ever heard a parent say “Oh please, he wont even remember this”? Nothing makes me cringe harder than hearing such a carefree attitude towards the tiny humans. Mothers who are in-tune instinctively know this is so not true, and now the science, both technological and social, is backing up what mindful parents have known all along. Neglect and emotional trauma will have big effects on baby and can permeate the rest of their life.

I don’t know why, but people are so hush-hush when it comes to neglectful or absent parents. “Oh, they’re doing the best they can, its not a big deal” In a time when mental illnesses and personality disorders are prevalent, drug abuse soaring despite cutting edge treatments, and rise in general loneliness and despair across the world, I think its time we stop sweeping this everyday abuse under the rug, or shaming adult-children for blaming their parents for how fucked up they are. I mean, it is their fault so why not just call a spade a spade?

Neglect and emotional trauma will actually make your babies brain smaller. Like, much much smaller than that of a well-loved baby. Less able to empathize, not just for lack emotional intelligence, but physically less able to do so. Also more likely to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, food or sex or commit violent crimes. Leading neurologist, UCLA’s Allan Schore says the growth of babies brain literally depends on positive and loving interactions with (parents) as well as the development of cerebral circuits.  From the beginning of the third trimester to about 2 years of age, the brain literally doubles in size, but only if the baby has the “right” positive experiences, Schore says.

And more than that, the hormones generated between infant and caregiver affect the way genes are encoded. And its not just about pouring on the love. The more enriching experiences the little human gets, the smarter, bigger and more complex his brain will be. (Note; We’re not talking babies on vacation or out to fancy places, that’s actually stressful.  We’re talking bedtime stories or visiting the park on Sundays) So for a parent to say their lack of attention isn’t hurting the baby is in every way false. They may not be “doing” something, but a lack of attention is in fact doing harm.

Starting from day 1 and throughout childhood, you’re being programmed, mainly by your primary caregiver. Think of it like a computer program, they’re downloading a certain format and way of operating into your brain, and you’ll probably assume this is just how everyone thinks, reacts & feels. Lets use the simple baby-crying example. If a baby cries, and the mother responds lovingly, the baby is being programmed to know that when he needs his tribe, they’ll usually come and help him, especially when he really needs help. The baby is programmed to believe that there are loving people around to help. This belief becomes his way of operating.

If the parent doesn’t respond, the baby learns that people wont help him. These babies usually grow into adults who don’t help either, or do so resentfully. They may also be likely to use manipulation for gain, as they learned to manipulate a situation to get their needs met. This is the program they were downloaded with.

If the baby cries and a parent responds with anger, the baby has learned that they are a nuisance, unworthy of Love, thus their programming usually becomes one of “Asking for help is dangerous. Do not ask for help” It’s psychology 101.

So, the damage of negligent or abusive parenting (both physical retardation and faulty beliefs/programming) is done, now what? Well, you start healing yourself. Up until a few years ago allopathic Doctors would say that once the brain is formed there’s no turning back. Please, please don’t let this become your reality. Besides the fact that we are now finding this to be untrue, Our physical bodies are amazing at taking orders. But we need to remove the subconscious blocks that may be sabotaging, or the low vibrating energies that are distorting our energetic body. It does take effort. Its a journey.

One of the hardest jobs you may have on your healing and spiritual journey is de-programming. This is why Energy clearing (Emotion Code being the best technique I’ve come across) is vital. It finds trapped emotions and allows us to analyze our subconscious beliefs. And having a trusted counsellor or therapist is important during the process, as they can help to re-program with new beliefs. During the meditative portion, we allow our new intentions and beliefs to become our new subconscious program. Remember, our subconscious beliefs are the rudder to our boat, they lead us to abundance or lack, depending on what we believe. Spiritual work isn’t just good vibes and psychedelic experiences. What we’re supposed to be doing here is refining our spirits, and we cant do that using outdated thinking. First step is truly to clear. We can also muscle test the body to find out what it may need, physically speaking, to facilitate the process. It may tell us we need more magnesium, sleep or to lay off coffee for example. After some muscle testing, one of my healer-friends found he would really benefit from micro-dosing psilocybin mushrooms.  It was pretty funny as he’s never “experimented” and here he was, a mental health professional, dosing on mushrooms on the week-ends.  It’s different for everyone, which is why an experienced muscle tester is essential.  Muscle testing is our Spirits way of talking to us. And of coarse Reiki, which is the Source of Energy. Hospitals have done numerous studies on Reiki. One such hospital had two groups of patients who had surgery, one who got Reiki and the other did not. The patients who received Reiki healed %60 faster than the non-Reiki group. Its not a placebo effect, which I’ve covered in a past post, rather actual subtle healing energies.

So we are not doomed to a life of suffering because our parents didn’t do their job well. But if we want a better life, it is our job to do something about it. As a childhood abuse survivor, I specialize in clients with these backgrounds. I know how difficult it is to manifest with so many trapped emotions and limiting beliefs. I’ve been through the mental health system. I have thoroughly studied the effects of childhood abuse. And I have spent my entire adult life trying everything under the sun to heal, from Lithium and anti-psychotics, to meditation and crystals. This is what led me to Emotion Code and Reiki. And its not a long process either, a session or two often has life-changing effects, with very little effort compared to typical therapies and medical intervention. You just never know what seemingly magical things can happen when you remove trapped emotions and start truly believing your worthy of great things. This process feels good and is actually effective in big ways. You don’t have to know anything, just come in and let me get to work on you, you’ll be amazed at what we discover. I can help you get started to a new life full of abundance and love, whenever your ready.

Forgiveness After Betrayal ~ Should You Even Bother?

Before we get into it, I want to clarify what I mean by “betray” and “forgive”

There’s all kinds of poetic interpretations around forgiveness, many which don’t make any sense to my practical mind. Remember Oprah’s definition of forgiveness? “Forgiveness means giving up hope that things could be any different” Well that just sounds like acceptance to me. For sure, we should at some point come to a place of acceptance with all our grievances. But that doesn’t mean we should also forgive.

Dictionary definitions, yay:

“Betray: An act of deliberate disloyalty”

“Forgive: To stop feeling anger towards or about an offence

To cancel responsibility, to stop requiring repayment

The act of absolving (to set free) someone for having done something wrong

So basically, forgiveness is letting someone off the hook. and not everyone deserves that. For sure, find acceptance for what was, but this does not absolve a person of their actions or betrayals. The victim may still have to deal with the consequences, which can be minimal to life-changing. The offender may be likely to re-offend.

Forgiveness serves to keep people connected after betrayal, in whatever form. In essence, your letting them off the hook (where they were unable to betray again) and trusting them to act appropriately in future.

In our ancestors time, someone who quickly forgave others was seen a threat to the community or family, as undeserved forgiveness would cause eventual harm or damage, and put the family in a position to be exploited or harmed again. They were regarded as fools, or worse.

Now a-days, we hear people carry on like forgiving is an act of Saintly proportions, and a testament to how holy and mature one is. Deluding the self into believing forgiveness will make them an above-average good person, while simultaneously healing the pain of betrayal inside. Unfortunately, I’m afraid this is nothing more than generational gas-lighting and mind-fucking. You must forgive your father. Keep sweet. Always forgive and forget. Have faith, or whatever.

There are times when forgiveness is called for, and it is something we should aspire to in our relationships, but there are certain steps to getting there, requiring both parties effort.  You can accept it/them. But should you forgive them? There’s a path to forgiveness after betrayal. It looks like this:

The Betrayal ~ often an indication of a larger problem. Regardless, a betrayal takes place. Could be cheating, lying, a set-up, an act of negligence or disregard or general disrespect for ones things or self. Whatever it is, your feeling betrayed and have lost trust in the relationship

Outrage ~ From the victim This outrage serves the victim in calling out the betrayer and can help them gain support during this time of hurt and anger. It’s a pretty human reaction that helps us gain perspective and understanding. It also helps the victim during a time when they’ve been knocked down, to get up and brush off the pain of being hurt by a loved one. This is often the time when the victim finally fully recognizes that the actual betrayal as a sign of something bigger, a toxic or abusive relationship dynamic, for example.

Guilt ~ The offender feels Guilt. And they demonstrate this guilt through apologies, behaviours and genuine emotions and empathy. They do what they can to help fix the damage, or offer to help or do something. The offender shows they are truly remorseful so that they can be trusted in the future and welcomed back into the social group

Forgiveness ~ By the victim. When this happens the relationship can repair and the social connection is re-bonded

Notice step 3?  Yea, that’s the part that’s lacking in undeserved forgiveness. That is the determining factor in whether or not one should forgive. When someone says “I’m sorry!” they are simply telling you they’re sorry, and its probably true.  They probably are sorry because now the can’t have access to you or benefit from you.  This doesn’t mean they feel guilt over their act of betrayal, it does not mean they should be trusted. Many times the offender doesn’t feel guilt. Worse, they may even feel resentment towards you. They may feel shame. Guilt is about feeling bad for something you’ve done. Shame is feeling bad for being seen in a negative light. The offender may feel ashamed, but that doesn’t mean they care about how their actions affect others.

Forgiveness is important for healthy social connections and something we absolutely should strive for, but first we need to understand what it means. Many families and friends are simply too toxic or emotionally immature to do their part on the forgiveness path. This is when to hang them on a hook, safe away from our lives, and find acceptance for what is.

If you have trapped emotions of betrayal, resentment, or need help coming to a place of acceptance, Emotion Code and a session with a seasoned healer can help you. Trapped emotions lead to more of the same, and eventual physical manifestations as well, until we release the Karmic energy. Many people believe they just had to forgive a person and they would heal, only to find that it has caused more harm than help. Forgiveness is not necessary to heal, but acceptance & release is.