Oh great, another article on Narcissism:/ Well, its time we put into words something that we are all noticing: A lot of self-proclaimed healers are quite narcissistic.
And if your anything like me, its starting to get less “eye roll” and more “K, that’s dangerous”
There are a few reasons for the flush of narcs in the healing & social media sphere. The biggest being they are great at facades (their entire personality is a fraud, so its perfect for them) and manipulating people when they are vulnerable. With the front of being a “healer”, you will get the impression that they have put more time into creating an image than studying, and it becomes apparent when asked to provide any type of substance.
I could draw this post out, being polite and explaining things “nicely” But instead, lets get to the point.
In the words of Alan Watts; “I have never met a Sage who wanted praise. Enlightened people do not care for compliments, they care for humanity” Narcissism is nothing new in spirituality (or religion) Toxic people have always been drawn to the energetic supply they get from feeling Godly & above others. I mean just look at the social media pages of some of these so-called healers. They call themselves Goddesses and Gifted, continually ASK their clients for written compliments they can then proudly display to the public, little concern for privacy or tact. Really consider this: have you ever seen a legit healer, be it a nurse, therapist, PSW, ect, beg for likes? Has a counsellor ever asked you to forgo privacy and leave a constructed review? This is because as healers, we are not supposed to burden our clients or expect them to publicly expose their need for healing. It puts the client in a position where they feel they have to help the healer in return, which is highly unethical. Of coarse most people will, even though they don’t really want to. They see their role of healer as a business opportunity or attention supply, rather than a calling. If they really believed in Universal Law they would remember that people in need will come to them at the right time. A narcissistic healer will instead try to manipulate or convince people.
Another red flag a Healer is in it for the wrong reasons is their constant reminders of how empathetic/unique/good they are. It comes off awkward and forced … because it is. They promote themselves non-stop. My Dad used to say “Honest people don’t need to tell you they’re honest. Liars are always telling people they are honest.” It reminds me of a social media influence who has recently been exposed as a Narcissist, Myka Stauffer. She repeatedly talks about what a good mother she is, which clearly ended up as not the case. Yet for years people took her words as truth, not seeing the signs. Everything she did as a “good mom” was really for her own benefit, none of her videos or actions benefited her children, in fact it has probably caused long term trauma. Many of us saw through it, but most people take things at face value. In her videos she says repeatedly “Because I’m so empathetic…” ‘Because I’m so humble…” Everything is centred around her instead of the actual needs of the children. When her kids are literally crying in pain, she talks about how hard it is for her instead of the kids. With narcissists, it always circles back to them. We see this with many Healers in social Media. Its clearly about them, not you.
A Narcissistic healer has superficial emotions. Exaggerated emotions. The smile is forced, the Woo- Woo way they speak is unnatural. They surely don’t speak like that in the comfort of their own home. Even the way they welcome you is over the top. Its just not authentic behaviour, it is preformative emotions. Sooo excited to see you, yet crickets when they’re done gaining your cash and energetic supply. The way they connect with people is superficial. They don’t want friends, they want followers. They want the higher ground in the relationship. They hug you tight and feign interest, but actions reveal they aren’t interested in an authentic connection, professional or otherwise. Rather than seeing the role of Healer as meaning THEY are humbly working for YOU, you start to feel like this is more for their benefit.
And the biggest healer red flag for me is their belief that they are special, all powerful (grandiose thinking) and give no credit to others. They routinely over estimate their own power and give false hope to people who are desperate. Many of them change their names (a clear construct of the false-self) or claim to be from the Pleiades or some other far away place (I wish this would stop. You are human. You come from Earth. Our Spirit is connected to Gaias energy field, your body grown from Gaias soil, your Soul returning to Gaias energy field, your body returning to earth.) and anything else they can do to appear different and special. They keep things secretive to appear mystical. In other words, they cant actually explain what they are doing. They don’t put power in the clients hands, rather they want you to know it was THEM who magically healed and changed you. Its so fucking ridiculous to me, as the core of truly helping someone means reminding them of their power. I was connected with a healer for a brief period of time, as I love to learn from and connect with people in my field. She had a serious health crisis, and half her face became paralyzed. She went to several Doctors (healers) and hospitals, took allopathic medicine and did some therapy. Yet you’d never know it looking at her social media. She somehow turned it all around and used it as an opportunity to tell everyone that she had healed herself. Taking videos of herself everyday, getting better and better. Her naïve followers left comments “what an amazing healer!” “My dad had a stroke, I’m telling him to come see you!” ect. Not once did she give any credit to the Doctors, nurses or therapists that actually healed her. Instead, she encouraged people to book with her even though she had no healthcare education or experience. Dangerous & reckless. Another would routinely bash the medical system (which I get, it needs to evolve) yet her kids were all on anti-depressants and pills. They very well could have been treated via alternative healing methods that she was untrained in, but that would mean admitting she wasn’t omnipotent. So instead she went the “happy perfect family” route and kept her children’s sicknesses a secret. All the while claiming she could heal other peoples kids. What a loving mother. Man, if you don’t have the education and experience to treat peoples health issues via alternative medicine & energy healing, then you are a danger to society fronting as though you can. Energy medicine is magic, but so is nature, birth, ascension, the gift of sight, etc. You still have to know what you’re doing. Do you really believe that Shamans, Medicine Women, Tibetan Healers, just took some 4 hour Reiki coarse and now BOOM they can heal all dis-ease? Of coarse not! They studied and practiced until they felt they could ethically work on others. Remember the 11 Law of Karma: All rewards require patient and persistent toil.
In conclusion, a lot of healers need to get over them self. We should have a high standard of care, and feel accomplished when we do a good job. This does not make us Gods, or better than anyone else who does an amazing job teaching, cooking, parenting ect. It is a craft, like any other. And like any craft, the work shall speak for itself.
(Final note for the seriously naïve: Aside from Narcissists, there are plenty of sexual predators floating around the Spiritual community as well. I’m all for sexual freedom, but the amount women being “tricked” into allowing a predator to view their aura without a shirt on or be touched inappropriately to awaken the Kundalini, or any other variation of this just blows my mind. As a practicing healer, the number of times I’ve been asked to do a session “naturally” (aka naked) or give a tantra massage, you know, for health reasons… makes me laugh! Until I hear one of my colleagues falling for this. Then I worry. C’mon ladies, don’t be foolish, of coarse that’s inappropriate and unnecessary. Use some very basic common sense and be wary of anyone asking you to do such things for such stupid reasons. Sure, claim victim-status, but if you believed you needed to take your top off for aura viewing then you cant also claim Empath-status. You clearly don’t feel or sense much and belong back in the sleeping category if you’re that easily fooled. No disrespect, just admit you are vulnerable and easily manipulated, and go from there.)