Have you ever heard a parent say “Oh please, he wont even remember this”? Nothing makes me cringe harder than hearing such a carefree attitude towards the tiny humans. Mothers who are in-tune instinctively know this is so not true, and now the science, both technological and social, is backing up what mindful parents have known all along. Neglect and emotional trauma will have big effects on baby and can permeate the rest of their life.
I don’t know why, but people are so hush-hush when it comes to neglectful or absent parents. “Oh, they’re doing the best they can, its not a big deal” In a time when mental illnesses and personality disorders are prevalent, drug abuse soaring despite cutting edge treatments, and rise in general loneliness and despair across the world, I think its time we stop sweeping this everyday abuse under the rug, or shaming adult-children for blaming their parents for how fucked up they are. I mean, it is their fault so why not just call a spade a spade?
Neglect and emotional trauma will actually make your babies brain smaller. Like, much much smaller than that of a well-loved baby. Less able to empathize, not just for lack emotional intelligence, but physically less able to do so. Also more likely to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, food or sex or commit violent crimes. Leading neurologist, UCLA’s Allan Schore says the growth of babies brain literally depends on positive and loving interactions with (parents) as well as the development of cerebral circuits. From the beginning of the third trimester to about 2 years of age, the brain literally doubles in size, but only if the baby has the “right” positive experiences, Schore says.
And more than that, the hormones generated between infant and caregiver affect the way genes are encoded. And its not just about pouring on the love. The more enriching experiences the little human gets, the smarter, bigger and more complex his brain will be. (Note; We’re not talking babies on vacation or out to fancy places, that’s actually stressful. We’re talking bedtime stories or visiting the park on Sundays) So for a parent to say their lack of attention isn’t hurting the baby is in every way false. They may not be “doing” something, but a lack of attention is in fact doing harm.
Starting from day 1 and throughout childhood, you’re being programmed, mainly by your primary caregiver. Think of it like a computer program, they’re downloading a certain format and way of operating into your brain, and you’ll probably assume this is just how everyone thinks, reacts & feels. Lets use the simple baby-crying example. If a baby cries, and the mother responds lovingly, the baby is being programmed to know that when he needs his tribe, they’ll usually come and help him, especially when he really needs help. The baby is programmed to believe that there are loving people around to help. This belief becomes his way of operating.
If the parent doesn’t respond, the baby learns that people wont help him. These babies usually grow into adults who don’t help either, or do so resentfully. They may also be likely to use manipulation for gain, as they learned to manipulate a situation to get their needs met. This is the program they were downloaded with.
If the baby cries and a parent responds with anger, the baby has learned that they are a nuisance, unworthy of Love, thus their programming usually becomes one of “Asking for help is dangerous. Do not ask for help” It’s psychology 101.
So, the damage of negligent or abusive parenting (both physical retardation and faulty beliefs/programming) is done, now what? Well, you start healing yourself. Up until a few years ago allopathic Doctors would say that once the brain is formed there’s no turning back. Please, please don’t let this become your reality. Besides the fact that we are now finding this to be untrue, Our physical bodies are amazing at taking orders. But we need to remove the subconscious blocks that may be sabotaging, or the low vibrating energies that are distorting our energetic body. It does take effort. Its a journey.
One of the hardest jobs you may have on your healing and spiritual journey is de-programming. This is why Energy clearing (Emotion Code being the best technique I’ve come across) is vital. It finds trapped emotions and allows us to analyze our subconscious beliefs. And having a trusted counsellor or therapist is important during the process, as they can help to re-program with new beliefs. During the meditative portion, we allow our new intentions and beliefs to become our new subconscious program. Remember, our subconscious beliefs are the rudder to our boat, they lead us to abundance or lack, depending on what we believe. Spiritual work isn’t just good vibes and psychedelic experiences. What we’re supposed to be doing here is refining our spirits, and we cant do that using outdated thinking. First step is truly to clear. We can also muscle test the body to find out what it may need, physically speaking, to facilitate the process. It may tell us we need more magnesium, sleep or to lay off coffee for example. After some muscle testing, one of my healer-friends found he would really benefit from micro-dosing psilocybin mushrooms. It was pretty funny as he’s never “experimented” and here he was, a mental health professional, dosing on mushrooms on the week-ends. It’s different for everyone, which is why an experienced muscle tester is essential. Muscle testing is our Spirits way of talking to us. And of coarse Reiki, which is the Source of Energy. Hospitals have done numerous studies on Reiki. One such hospital had two groups of patients who had surgery, one who got Reiki and the other did not. The patients who received Reiki healed %60 faster than the non-Reiki group. Its not a placebo effect, which I’ve covered in a past post, rather actual subtle healing energies.
So we are not doomed to a life of suffering because our parents didn’t do their job well. But if we want a better life, it is our job to do something about it. As a childhood abuse survivor, I specialize in clients with these backgrounds. I know how difficult it is to manifest with so many trapped emotions and limiting beliefs. I’ve been through the mental health system. I have thoroughly studied the effects of childhood abuse. And I have spent my entire adult life trying everything under the sun to heal, from Lithium and anti-psychotics, to meditation and crystals. This is what led me to Emotion Code and Reiki. And its not a long process either, a session or two often has life-changing effects, with very little effort compared to typical therapies and medical intervention. You just never know what seemingly magical things can happen when you remove trapped emotions and start truly believing your worthy of great things. This process feels good and is actually effective in big ways. You don’t have to know anything, just come in and let me get to work on you, you’ll be amazed at what we discover. I can help you get started to a new life full of abundance and love, whenever your ready.